learning to balance "we" and "me"

"Giving ourselves to a loving partnership while remaining true to ourselves, learning to balance "we" and "me," is the central challenge of intimate relationships." - John Welwood. "Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love." HarperPerennial, 1996

our shelter within

"When we can be secure in our inner source for true happiness, we don’t expose ourselves to the devastation that comes when outside hopes for happiness and security are dashed. We have our shelter, our place of security, inside. And we needn’t be afraid that this is an escapist shelter. When the basis of our well-being is firm within, we can act with true courage and compassion for others, for we’re coming from a solid position of calmness and strength." - Thanissaro Bhikkhu, “What We’ve Been Practicing For”

learning not to panic

"Sticking with uncertainty, relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path." - Pema Chodron

when love beckons to you follow him

“When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.”

- Kahlil Gibran. “The Prophet.” Vigo Books, 2010-11-01.

love springs spontaneously

“Love has to spring spontaneously from within: and
it is in no way amenable to any form of inner or outer
force.”
- Ram Dass. “Be Here Now (Enhanced Edition).” HarperCollins, 2010-10-26.

the art of being wrong

"Peace and kindness have their best shot at establishing themselves when we accept our own inadequacy, when limitation and error become aspects of ourselves we can embrace rather than strive to mask." - Henry Shukman, "The Art of Being Wrong"

real intimacy

"When we try to make relationships fit into a familiar, conventional fantasy we lose the spice that brings out the richest flavors of love: the unknown. Real intimacy is, first and foremost, a journey into this unknown." - John Welwood. "Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love." HarperPerennial, 1996

love the questions themselves

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” - R. M. Rilke

only the present moment

"Every moment in life is absolute in itself. That's all there is. There is nothing other than this present moment; there is no past, there is no future; there is nothing but this. So when we don't pay attention to each little this, we miss the whole thing. " - Charlotte Joko Beck, "Attention Means Attention"

worry robs today

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only robs today of its joy." - Leo Buscaglia

relaxed awareness

"When the thinking mind takes a break for even a few seconds, a kind of relaxed awareness replaces the usual stream of thoughts. We need to encourage this and not fill this space with anything else; just let it be" - Tsultrim Allione, "Feeding Your Demons"

you’ve got to go at the rate you can go

“you’ve got to go at the rate you can go.
You wake up at the rate you wake up.
You’re finished with your desires
at the rate
you finish with your desires.
The disequilibrium comes into harmony at the rate it comes into harmony.
You Can’t Rip
The skin off
The snake. The snake must moult
the skin. That’s the rate it happens.”

- Ram Dass. “Be Here Now (Enhanced Edition).” HarperCollins, 2010-10-26.

the true path

“The true path is one of letting go and allowing the process of awakening to open us to every moment without attachment.” - Jack Kornfield. “Bringing Home the Dharma.” Shambhala Publications.

anger

"There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot." - Plato

worry

"If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is." - Unknown

changing directions

"Mindfulness allows us to watch our thoughts, see how one thought leads to the next, decide if we’re heading toward an unhealthy path, and if so, let go and change directions." - Sharon Salzberg, "Mindfulness and Difficult Emotions"

a foundation of presence

"Through mindfulness, we develop greater composure and a heightened sensitivity to nonverbal communication. Then, to the extent that we ourselves are present, we can radiate that same quality outward to the people around us. It is hard to be generous, disciplined, or patient if we are not fully present. If we are present and attentive, and our mind is flexible, we are more receptive to the environment around us." - Judy Lief, “On the Contagious Power of Presence”

planting the seeds of goodness

"When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet. You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time. Similarly, just do your daily practice and cultivate a kind heart. Abandon impatience and instead be content creating the causes for goodness; the results will come when they’re ready." - Thubten Chodron, “Meditator’s Toolbox”

perfect moments

"Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect." - Unknown

marriage as a conscious relationship

"In marriage as a conscious relationship, the container is the commitment to stay with it no matter how difficult is is, the willingness 'to bring awareness to whatever is going on, rather than acting out your conditioned patterns from the past. You take everything, all the challenges in the relationship, as opportunities to become more fully awake, to become more fully present, loving, and giving.'" - Andrea Miller citing John Welwood, "When Ego Meets Non-Ego," Shambhala Sun, March 2013

what you do right now is what matters

"Don’t get caught up in hopes of what you’ll achieve and how good your situation will be some day in the future. What you do right now is what matters." - Pema Chodron, “Bite-Sized Buddhism”

right knowledge

Right knowledge is seeing things as they really are by direct experience, not as they appear to be, nor as the practitioner wants them to be, but as they truly are. - Buddhist teaching

change

"When you admit to yourself, 'I must make this change to be more happy'—not because the Buddha said so, but because your heart recognized a deep truth—you must devote all your energy to making the change. You need strong determination to overcome harmful habits. But the payoff is happiness—not just for today but for always." - Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

being happy

"Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections." - Unknown

drive all blames into one

"'Drive all blames into one' means that you can't blame anyone for what happens. Even if it's actually someone's fault, you really can't blame them. Something happened, and since it did, there is nothing else to be done but to make use of it." - Norman Fischer, "Life is Tough: Six Ways to Deal With It," Shambhala Sun, March 2013