emotional engagement

“The tragedy here is that a man may be doing his best to answer his wife’s concerns by offering advice and solutions, not understanding that what she is really seeking from him is emotional engagement. His engagement is the solution for her.”

- Sue Johnson. “Hold Me Tight.” Little, Brown and Company, 2008-04-08.

bring each other close

“Once partners know how to speak their need and bring each other close, every trial they face together simply makes their love stronger.”

- Sue Johnson. “Hold Me Tight.” Little, Brown and Company, 2008-04-08.

braver than we expect

“We are always more afraid than we wish to be, but we can always be braver than we expect.”

- Robert Jordan. “Lord of Chaos.” Tom Doherty Associates.

just get up

“That’s just the way it is. As many times as you trip and fall, i.e., give in to a desire—just get up. There is a tendency when we fall for many of us to sit around and feel guilty and wallow in self-recrimination...Such self-recrimination is just more of the ego dance. Let it go by and get on with it. After all, if you were finished, you wouldn’t need to begin. Just accept where you are in the here and now and proceed full speed.”

- Ram Dass. “Be Here Now (Enhanced Edition).” HarperCollins, 2010-10-26.

no reason to be unhappy

"Whether we are suffering at present or have suffered in the past, there is no reason to be unhappy. If we can remedy it, then why be unhappy? And if we cannot, there's no use in being unhappy about it—it's just one more thing to be unhappy about, which serves no purpose at all."

- H.H. the Dalai Lama, "Enduring the Fires", tricycle.com

every part of your life is sacred

“All aspects of your life are your field of practice, the precise place to find freedom and compassion. From politics and parenting to meditation and education, from sex and drugs to poetry and art, every part of your life is sacred.”

- Jack Kornfield. “Bringing Home the Dharma.” Shambhala Publications.

we balance each other

“As lovers, we poise together delicately on a tightrope. When the winds of doubt and fear begin blowing, if we panic and clutch at each other or abruptly turn away and head for cover, the rope sways more and more and our balance becomes even more precarious. To stay on the rope, we must shift with each other’s moves, respond to each other’s emotions. As we connect, we balance each other. We are in emotional equilibrium.”

- Sue Johnson. “Hold Me Tight.” Little, Brown and Company, 2008-04-08.

assumptions

“our assumptions keep us from appreciating what’s right in front of us”

“Assumptions bind us to the past, obscure the present, limit our sense of what’s possible, and elbow out joy.”

- Sharon Salzberg. “Real Happiness - Enhanced Ebook Edition.” Workman Publishing, 2010.

part of who we are

"A basic law of the psyche is that whatever we try to exclude from conciousness will keep trying to regain entry, until we recognize and include it as part of who we are."

- John Welwood. "Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love." HarperPerennial, 1996

unconditional love

"Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being."

- Ram Dass

get the self out of the way

"The more we can get the self out of the way, the more clearly we can see the effect of our thoughts, words, and action upon ourselves and others."

- Andrew Olendzki, “Moral Health”, tricycle.com

locked in our separateness

"I would say that most of us stay locked in our separateness and we are very frightened of coming out of it, we feel very vulnerable. In truth you’re not vulnerable at all. Who you think you are is vulnerable. Who you are is not vulnerable. This is the truth of it."

- Ram Dass

the challenge is to stay in the middle

"Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid."

- Pema Chodron, “The In-between State”, tricycle.com

whatever experience is most helpful

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."

- Eckhart Tolle

mindfulness refines our attention

“Mindfulness refines our attention so that we can connect fully and directly with whatever life brings.”

- Sharon Salzberg. “Real Happiness - Enhanced Ebook Edition.” Workman Publishing, 2010.

you must learn to ride fate

“You must learn to ride fate. Only by surrendering to the Pattern can you begin to have some control over the course of your own life. If you fight, the Pattern will still force you, and you will find only misery where you might have found contentment instead.”

- Robert Jordan. “The Fires of Heaven.” Tom Doherty Associates.